I've stopped trying to please people and have started just being myself and the best part is, I have more friends than ever before. Being myself has paid off, in that I have met new people, been new places, seen new bands and just lived.
Being myself, truly myself, feels great. I know what matters to me and I understand better than ever what things are not worth my time. It's taken quite a lot of work to learn all of this but it's been worth it.
Most of all I am truly grateful for the chance that I have had, the opportunity I've had to re-build what was essentially a pretty broken life. I am also now able to be truly grateful to the person who did all the damage to my life, because without him I would not feel as lucky as I do today.
I am more passionate about music now than ever before and every day I listen to music in my flat and rejoice in the fact that there isn't someone slagging it off and hiding my favourite Cd's. There are so many reasons to be grateful and feel lucky and I never would have seen them if it hadn't been for him.
I re-build my life and now its better, so much better. I never want to forget what I went through because it has taught me so much and given me a freedom I thought I had lost.
Broken hearts heal with time, the scars that are left serve as reminders that you took a risk, that you loved and that you are a better person for it.
The one person who really got under my skin, left and I ached again, but through him I found music that helped me and a band I believe in. So again I am grateful. I wish I could thank him for all he did for me, but I don't think he wants to hear it and I don't think he would understand.
Still all I have gained and learned from the two men who have had an impact on me in the last few years is so much that I would never trade in any of the pain.
I'm ready to do it all again, I know I am, but only with someone who deserves my time and can see the person I have become. I'm worth the effort and one day some guy will realise this.
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