So today is a lonely day. They happen less and less now because I'm happy with the life I have and I don't need someone in it to complete it, but that doesn't mean that I don't want someone. Days like today make me so aware of that. I'm trying to fill it best I can by running errands, reading, listening to music but I want company. I'm sitting on my living room window sill watching the world go by and I can't help but wish there was someone else here or at least someone who wanted to be.
Most of the time myself is enough. Most of the time I'm fine in my own world but on days like today I just want a massive hug.
I'm so jaded by it all, so fed up of going into things with the best of intentions and the highest hopes only for another guy to stop calling or texting or talking online after a few days of getting to know them and not having the faintest idea what has changed in those few days. I keep trying to be open minded and to go into things with the right frame of mind, if I meet someone I'm interested in I show them I'm interested and it gets me nowhere.
I'm trying really hard not to take it personally but its hard on days like today when I sit here and watch the guy I told I liked walk right past my flat without a second glance its hard not to think that I've done something wrong.
I love my flat and I love sitting on my window sill looking out on the city centre but sometimes I feel like the world has forgotten about me way up here.
I'll be alright in a couple of days.
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